For many, the joke at the end of each Daily Dose newsletter is their favorite part, so we're told. 

We have also heard from a few people that they wanted to see every Daily Dose joke all in one place.

Well, it's your lucky day, because we have every Daily Dose joke form the 2017-18 school year right here:

(Maybe wait until you're out of class or out of the office so you don't literally LOL.)

Q: How does the man on the moon cut his hair?

A: Eclipse it.

Q: What kind of clothing does a house wear?

A: Address.

Q: What do you call bears with no ears?

A: B.

Q: How did the hipster burn his mouth?

A: He ate the pizza before it was cool.

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?

A: Because he was on the moooooooove.

Q: What happens when frogs park illegally?

A: They get toad.

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A: No eye deer.

Q: What does Batman get in his drinks?

A: Just ice.

Q: What was the baby computer's first word?

A: Data.

Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game?

A: Because all the fans had left.

Q: Why don't computers race?

A: Because they keep crashing.

Q: What do Hawkeye and Iowa State football fans have in common?

A: Neither of them graduated from the University of Iowa.

Q: What's the difference between a Hawkeye fan and a puppy?

A: Eventually the puppy will stop whining.

Q: What did the father buffalo say to his son when he went off to college? 

A: Bye Son!

Q: What kind of clothes does a house wear?

A: An ad-dress.

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An impasta.

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

A: Because she will let it go.

Q: What do you call a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled milk.

Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?

A: A meowntain.

Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?

A: It went back four seconds.

Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

A: Irrelephant.

Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

A: Too many cheetahs.

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because it was framed.

Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

A: Thunderwear. 

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?

A: Beef Jerky.

Q: What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?

A: Wasabi!

Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

A: Give me my quarterback!

Q: What did Mario say when we broke up with Princess Peach?

A: It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear.

Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?

A: A loose Cannon.

Q: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?

A: Instagram.

Q: What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A: A waist of time.

Q: Who invented the round table?

A: Sir Cumference.

Q: How does a suit put its child to bed?

A: It tux him in.

Q: Can I tell you a joke about paper?

A: Nah, nevermind, it's tearable.

Q: What do you call a frozen dog?

A: A pupsicle.

Q: What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?

A: Attire.

Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?

A: Because he was a paleontologist. 

Q: Why didn't the skeleton to go to the dance?

A: Because he had no-body to dance with.

Q: What is a goblin's favorite cheese?

A: Monster-ella!

Q: What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room?

A: A spoo-key. 

Q: What's the best thing about Switzerland?

A: I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

Q: What did the tree say to Autumn? 

A: Leaf me alone. 

Q: What did one autumn leaf say to another?

A: I'm falling for you. 

Q: Why aren't koalas actual bears?

A: They don't meet the koalafications!

Q: How to do you write a book about Halloween?

A: With a ghostwriter. 

Q: Why did the golfer need an extra sock?

A: Because he got a hole in one.

Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?

A: They needed a little team spirit.

Q: What do ghosts eat for supper?

A: Spooketti.

Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants? 

A: Spare ribs!

Q: Why do skeletons have a low self esteem?

A: Because they have no body to love. 

Q: What do you call a turkey with no feathers?

A: Thanksgiving dinner!

Q: What do you tell a vegetable after it graduates?

A: Corn-gratulations.

Q: What do you call a bear without teeth?

A: A gummy bear.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost?

A: A poultrygeist!

Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym?

A: To get better buns.

Q: What key won't open any door?

A: A turkey! 

Q: How do you keep Oklahoma State Cowboys out of your yard?

A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why was the turkey arrested?

A: The police suspected fowl play.

Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?

A: Peach gobbler!

Q: What sound does a turkey's phone make?

A: Wing! Wing!

Q: How do you mend a broken pumpkin?

A: With a pumpkin patch!

Q: What do you call a running turkey?

A: Fast food.

Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? 

A: Their age.

Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?

A: Because it was two-tired.

Q: Why was the snowman sad?

A: Because he had a meltdown!

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?


Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck!

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?

A: Because it's too far to walk.

Q: Why do coaches like punters?

A: Because they always put their first foot forward.

Q: How do you stay warm in an empty room?

A: Go stand in a corner — it's always 90 degrees.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frostbite!

Q: What do Santa's elves learn in school?

A: The elf-abet.

Q: What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

A: Fish and ships! 

Q: Why can't basketball players go on vacation?

A: They'd get called for traveling.

Q: What's the tallest building in Ames?

A: The library, because it has the most stories.

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

A: Missiletoe!

Q: How do you stop squirrels from playing football in the garden?

A: You hide the football, it drives them nuts!

Q: What lights up a football stadium?

A: A football match!

Q: Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space?

A: Because there is no atmosphere!

Q: What animal is the best at playing football?

A: The score-pion!

Q: Where can you find the best nachos during the college football postseason?

A: The cheese bowl.

Q: Why do wide receivers like to be navigators on road trips?

A: They like planning their routes.

Q: Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?

A: Because he needed a quarter back!

Q: What do you call a monkey that wins a bowl game?

A: A chimpion! 

Q: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?

A: Because it was always sweeping during class!

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot!

Q: What did the alien tell the gardener?

A: Take us to your weeder.

Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

A: You look for fresh prints.

Q: Who always goes to bed with his shoes on?

A: A horse.

Q: Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?

A: To see a butterfly!

Q: How do snowmen get around?

A: On their icicles.

Q: What did Delaware?

A: Her New Jersey.

Q: Why did Lil Wayne go to the doctor?

A: He was feeling a Lil Weezy!

Q: What did one elevator say to another?

A: I believe I am coming down with something.

Q: Which coat is always wet when you put it on?

A: A coat of paint.

Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

A: Nothing, it just waved!

Q: What did the rug say to the floor?

A: Don't move, I've got you covered.

Q: Do you know 50 Cent's half brother's name?

A: 25 Cent.

Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?

A: Because he couldn't find a date.

Q: What day does a fish hate?

A: Fry day.

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing!

Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

A: Because it wanted to get to the bottom!

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

A: Because the "P" is silent!

Q: How do you make fruit punch?

A: Give it boxing lessons.

Q: What does Fetty Wap buy when he goes to Walmart?

A: 7 tees, 30 eggs.

Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the room?

A: Odor in the room!

Q:What do you call a bicycle with a bed on top?

A: Bedridden!

Q: What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?

A: "Put it on my bill."

Q: What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

A: Prime mates.

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

A: They have the same middle name.

Q: What did the toast say to the butter on Valentine's Day?

A: You're my butter half!

Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? 

A: Because he was outstanding in his field!

Q: Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?

A: Because he was jumpy.

Q: What do bunnies like to play?

A: Hop scotch!

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

A: Because it was not peeling well.

Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?

A: In snow banks.

Q: What's Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable?

A: Barackoli!

Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

A: You can’t tuna fish.

Q: What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?

A: Show me the honey!

Q: Why can't you run through a campground?

A: You can only ran, because it's past tents. 

Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?

A: Because his parents were in a jam.

Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?

A: They get their masters. 

Q: Why are frogs so happy?

A: They eat whatever bugs them.

Q: What do you call a row of rabbits jumping backwards?

A: A receding hair line. 

Q: If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay?

A: A bagel!

Q: What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?

A: Namaste. 

Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?

A: Baaaaahamas. 

Q: What did the tie say to the hat?

A: You go on ahead and I'll hang around.

Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?

A: To the dock!

Q: Why should you be wary of 5-cent espresso? 

A: It's a cheap shot!

Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?

A: Sneakers.

Q: What did the birthday cake say to the ice cream?

A: You're cool!

Q: What is the best thing to put into a pie?

A: A fork!

Q: What has a lot of keys but can't open any doors?

A: A piano!

Q: What kind of bagel can fly?

A: A plain bagel!

Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? 

A: Because it lost its filling!

Q: Why do basketball players love cookies?

A: Because they can dunk them!

Q: What do you call a mischievous egg?

A: A practical yolker.

Q: What kind of cats like to go bowling?

A: The alley cats!

Q: Why do pandas like old movies?

A: Because they are black and white.

Q: Why should you never buy anything with velcro? 

A: It's a total rip-off. 

Q: What's Forrest Gump's password?

A: 1forrest1.

Q: Why did the cat run away from the tree?

A: Because of its bark.

Q: What did the grape do when it was stepped on?

A: It let out a little wine.

Q: What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?

A: A live stream.

Q: What did the cop say to their bellybutton?

A: "You're under a vest!"

Q: What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

A: Ba-na-na-na.

Q: Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

A: He couldn't see himself doing it.

Q: Have you heard about the new broom?

A: It's sweeping the nation!

Q: Why do bananas need sunscreen?

A: Because they peel.

Q: Want to hear a joke about paper?

A: Nevermind, it's tearable.

Q: What did the horse say after it tripped?

A: Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Q: What is the loudest pet you can get?

A: A trumpet!

Q: What type of magazines do cows read?

A: Cattlelogs.

Q: What did the tree say to spring?

A: What a re-leaf!

Q: Where do you learn to make ice cream?

A: Sundae school.

Q: Why did the octopus beat a shark in a fight?

A: Because it was well armed!

Q: What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

A: You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. 

Q: What state has the smallest beverages?

A: Minnesota.

Q: What do you call a mountain of kittens?

A: A meow-ntain.

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

(1) comment

Hector Moreau

This article has improved my general knowledge a lot like that I know much about the many things that were all unknown to me. Some of them were familiar to me but some knowledge was so new to me for Annotated Bibliography studyclerk that make me learn more. Keep sharing such a good post in the future.

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