Editor's Note: The following column is a satire piece.
Dear reader, Donald Trump has finally been dealt a deadly blow. The former president’s blog, From the Desk of Donald J. Trump, has been shut down after less than a month of operation. The site promised to be a beacon of light in this dark time of silence and lies, but it seemed the light was quite easy to smother. However, the reported reasons for the closure are themselves lies.
For those who don’t know, Trump had his team shut down his blog June 2, reportedly for low viewership. But in reality, Trump had been dealt another legal blow to his already mounting number of lawsuits. Early in the morning June 1, an adviser to Trump received a phone call from a representative for 2002. The representative stated that 2002 had filed a claim for the return of its patented and favorite form of communication: blogs.
Now, it may seem silly to you, reader, why a year would go to such great lengths. But, if you look deeper, it is quite a fascinating situation that Trump has found himself in. As I’m sure no one recalls, blogs were "invented" by 1994 but weren’t copyrighted and patented until 2002, when their popularity began to really spike. Blogs have grown in popularity since, most requiring a minimal payment to 2002 and Dean “Father” Time.
This has been a common practice among blogging and vlogging sites. Companies like Google, Buzzfeed and Verizon all submit payment to be able to operate their sites easily and smoothly, as well as independent popular bloggers. But when they approached Trump regarding the same payments, they were met with fire and brimstone.
When first contacted by 2002 for payment, Trump’s team responded with a statement arguing the format in question wasn’t infringing upon 2002’s format and the format used on Trump's blog was used for “official business,” as well as other updates for Trump’s supporters. They also touted that it wasn’t a blog but a “budding social media platform,” likening it to the early days of Facebook and Twitter. Since it doesn’t follow the “informal, diary style” that is associated with blog formatting, Trump’s team asserted they didn’t owe 2002 anything.
After weeks of stalling and delays, 2002 finally delivered a claim of infringement as well as a cease and desist order to Trump until he paid 2002 for its creation. Instead of fighting 2002, Trump and his team decided to simply shutter the blog in an attempt to avoid any further legal trouble. But this leaves us with a bigger problem: years wanting their stuff back.
There have been many crazes and inventions that years have a claim to. This may lead to other years demanding payments or the stoppage of use altogether of certain items and references that we may never be able to use again — because what happens when a year calls you demanding something you love back?