Coming Out Stories 2020

National Coming Out Day/Week is a time for LGBTQIA+ people to come out and share their identities openly. 

Catherine Thom, a senior in agronomy. 

(she/her/hers)

The first time I came out to someone was my senior year of high school. I was just hanging out walking arm and arm with a friend and she asked me something along the lines of, "do you care if people look at us (two girls walking arm and arm) and they think we're dating?"
 
"Not really."
"I'm bisexual."
"I'm asexual." 
"What's that?"
"It's like when you don't, uh, want to have sex with someone until you get close to them.."(badly explains demisexuality in a panic)
"Oh, isn't everyone?"
*quick change of subject, because No, No they're Not, but I wasn't prepared to explain all of this right here on a whim*

Cut to last summer, same friend — "So, remember how I'm asexual?"
"No."

This time, prepared, I talk it through with her, answer her questions and send her a PowerPoint later that I made about the A-spec (https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1I--GiNwOMCi1bBNAFDL16lZNRN-WFXghpuymcBX9SNw/edit?usp=sharing).
 
She forgot I came out to her, but when I was ready to talk with her about it she was supportive and understanding, and I appreciate that she's my friend.   
 
I'm not out to a lot of people, just my close friends and the Asexual Aromantic Alliance currently. Personally the anxiety of explaining my asexuality outweighs being known and understood by everyone I know. What matters at the end of the day is that I know I'm asexual and nothing's changing that anytime soon.

These coming out stories were put together by the diversity news editor, Madison Mason. If you or someone you know would like to submit your coming out story, then reach out to Madison Mason at madison.mason@iowastatedaily.com or submit your story here.

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