golf8

Iowa State junior Celia Barquin warms up during practice. 

With the horrific death of yet another young woman in Iowa, the country is left scrambling for answers.

We know why Mollie Tibbetts, Celia Barquin Arozamena and so many other young women were killed: they were in the way of a man who viewed them as inferior, or who simply had the “urge to rape and kill a woman.” So the question we are left trying to answer is this: How do we prevent more deaths?

The answer is not in telling women to do something more, something differently or something better. Although it’s important that women take actions to be smart and protect themselves, we cannot put the impetus for this change on the victims.

But defiant posts on the internet declaring men simply need to “stop killing women” aren’t going to do it either. It seems to me the type of man who would read something like that and think “yeah, this applies to me” isn’t going to hold back on his violent, misogynistic impulses because a stranger on the internet told him to. No, the cultural shift we need is going to happen with our generation and mostly in the way we raise our kids.

The fact is most men, like most women, are good people. But they’re people who have been raised in a culture that tells them, in little misogynistic ways, that women are worth less than them; that women can be categorized by their body parts, that women are worth less salary, that women owe them sex, that a woman who isn’t afraid to be in charge is automatically a b***h.

This phenomenon is called implicit bias, and it’s something that we all have. Implicit biases are based on societal cues that cause us to unconsciously stereotype a group of people.

When you watch action movies and the only purpose of the women is to serve as love interests, or look at the leaders of our country and see only men, or grow up idolizing musicians who only seem to care about women if they provide sex, it’s not hard to take these cues and ingrain them into your subconscious.

But, as I said, most men are good people, people who can recognize these biases and do their best to eliminate them. The real problem develops when someone who already has violent tendencies grows up in this kind of culture. If you’re prone to violence or sadistic tendencies and society tells you to hate women, it’s an easy jump to take those violent tendencies out on women.

So we’re back at square one: how do we prevent men like Collin Richards, who had been arrested multiple times and likely will never be persuaded to change his misogynistic view of the world, from attacking and killing women? The long story short of it is that we can’t. But we can do our best to prevent this generation and the next from growing up with the same view of women that caused Richards and Cristhian Rivera and so many others to take their victims.

Doing so is going to take a cultural shift (one that, thankfully, has already started). It’s going to take seeing more women in places of power, women represented in pop culture not as sex objects but as fully developed people, believing women when they come forward with stories of sexual assault, and valuing their safety and comfort and contributions to society just as much as we value mens’.

The impetus is on us as a society to change the way our culture treats women, and it’s also on us as a generation to raise our children with a better perspective. Don’t tell your daughter that if a boy is being mean to her, it means he has a crush on her. Don’t tell your son boys don’t cry. Raise boys and girls the same way, and above all raise them to have respect for each other and to recognize misogyny when they see it.

We as a culture are making progress on the path to gender equality. But the past month in Iowa has been a terrible reminder to us all that we still have a long way to go, and our work will not be finished until women no longer have to fear a horrible death while doing something as innocuous as playing golf.

Opinion Policies

Opinions expressed in columns and letters are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Daily or organizations with which the author(s) are associated. 

Feedback policy: The Daily encourages discussion but does not guarantee its publication. We reserve the right to edit or reject any letter or online feedback. The goal of the opinion section is to spark civil public discourse by publishing opinions based on facts that articulate an argument. The merit of a piece's ability to further public discourse, among other factors, will be considered when determining if a piece is publication worthy. 

Letter to the Editor Submission Link

(4) comments

Steve Gregg

Just a few days ago, the Daily was condemning anyone who used Molly Tibbets’ murder to promote a political narrative. Yet, now, the Daily is using Celia Barquin Arozamena’s murder to promote their wacky political narrative. This illustrates the typical hypocrisy of liberals which is: When liberals use current events to promote their political agenda, it is noble and good, but when conservatives use the same current events to promote their agenda, then it’s hate speech.

What makes this particular editorial so rancid is that it overgeneralizes the two murderers of these young women to be representative of all men. This is an expression of the nutty bigotry liberals, particularly liberal women, have for men. It’s man-hating. Normal people should reject this irrational and venomous hatred for men.

How do we prevent more such deaths? The cold hard truth is that we can’t. We can’t have police patrolling every golf course and country road. There is a tiny criminal fringe who will opportunistically prey on women, given the chance. You will see these headlines for the rest of your lives. Such casual homicides are the background noise of civilization, even in Iowa, which is one of the most civilized states in America.

Contrary to the foolish declaration in this editorial that “The answer is not in telling women to do something more, something differently or something better,” they can. Some of it is pretty simple, like locking your doors. Unseen by you, there are always petty criminals testing your doors. The classic college rape story is women living in an off campus home who leave their windows open in hot weather and a rapist crawls in.

Arozamena’s murder illustrates a threat you won’t know about if you’re a young naive college girl from Tiny Town, IA. In any town of any size, bums live rough in the forests of parks. If you venture in those forests, you’ll find their tents and trash about thirty yards in, far enough so that the foliage screens their encampments from view from the road.

Houston has Trinity Park which boasts a three mile track where everyone jogs after work. It is enclosed on both sides by forest where bums live. Every now and then, a bum drags a solitary female jogger off the track at night, drags her into the bushes, and rapes her.

When I went to Marquette for grad school, a girl parted with her friend at the corner after a night out at the bars. She only had half a block to walk to her apartment along a busy four lane street through Milwaukee. She never made it.

A bum accosted her half way home and stabbed her in the chest with a paint scraper, nicking her heart. She ran to the college police station, a block and a half way, described her attacker, and died. The police followed her blood trail back to the scene of the attack to find her attacker in an alley, sitting in the box he was living in, with the bloody paint scraper in his coat pocket. Her family came from Missouri to collect their dead daughter.

Really, it can happen anywhere. When I lived in Texas, a girl was kidnapped a block from a police station and never found. When I lived in Washington, DC, there were a handful of twentysomething girls who disappeared off the sidewalks of downtown DC, never to be found.

When I was at Iowa State, a girl I knew was raped in her room at Storms in the Towers. She knew a basketball player from her small town high school who went on to play for ISU. She hung out with the basketball players. Back then in the 1970s, it was unusual to see a white girl hanging out with black guys. They came to briefly visit her one day at her room, bringing along a new team member. A half hour after they left, the new guy came back, forced his way into the room, and raped her in her own bed.

My girlfriend worked with her in the cafeteria and noticed she missed work two days in a row. She went to her room and got the whole story. She told me ten years later.

The poor girl locked her door after the attack and huddled in her room for a couple days, when she finally felt safe enough to take a shower. She did not know what to do. She did not go to the police for the shame of it all. She did not want to relive it. She just wanted to be normal again and to go back to the way things were before. So, she holed up in her room for a couple weeks until she started going back to classes and slowly picked up her life.

The basketball player got away with it and probably more, but being a criminal has a dim future. One can only hope that karma put him in jail or killed him off young.

All that said, it is very unlikely that these horror stories will happen to you. These are one in a million events, black swans, they call them. I know a lot of women who graduated from Iowa State and all of them but that one I mentioned left Ames unscathed. If you take elementary precautions, those one in a million chances decline to one in a hundred million.

Even if you are stupid and reckless at Iowa State, the odds are with you. I knew a number of stupid and reckless ISU girls. They are the only ones who would date me. One would get drunk as a skunk at the bars. The worst thing that happened to her is that she got falling down drunk and broke her arm on a curb at the Kum & Go on Chamberlain St.

Another girl liked to drive drunk. She plowed through a number of signs and dinged her car but never really suffered for it except once when she fell on the stairs to her apartment, leaving an impressive pool of blood there. Scalp wounds bleed profusely. She just bandaged her head and carried on, none the worse for wear.

You see, God favors fools. Usually, you have to be very, very foolish and reckless at one moment or somewhat foolish and reckless over a long period for it to catch up to you.

Back to the editorial, it’s full of nonsense. It’s dopey liberal feminism to say that men think women are worth less than them. Men knock themselves out trying to impress women, beg them to marry them on bended knee, give them big diamonds to show they’re serious, and work to care for them their livelong lives. That’s not unique to humans, either, but common to the entire animal kingdom. How can you get this so wrong?

The idea that women are discriminated against by salary is a long debunked feminist lie only believed by feminist extremists. If a woman makes the same choices as a man in America, she will get the same results. However, most women want softer, easier lives than men and make different choices which result in lower pay but easier lives. The claim that women deserve the same pay as men is really a sexist demand that women get paid based on their gender without choosing the harder jobs nor putting in the longer hours as men do.

It’s just plain stupid to say that putting women in charge would stop murders like Tibbets and Arozamena’s. If Tibbets were the mayor of Brooklyn, IA, that deranged illegal alien would have still killed her. He did not care about her rank. If Arozamena were the Queen of Spain, she would have still been killed by that street scum living in the woods.

It’s also a sad fact that women in charge are too often bitches rather than leaders, particularly when they are stupid enough to believe the liberal propaganda that all men are against them. The US military is the best run organization in America. Its leadership model is widely emulated by men, who compose most of its members.

Women lack experience of military leadership and suffer for it when in command. All too often, they run their organizations like bitchy little sororities, favoring their girlfriends and making peremptory orders to serve their own interests. Naturally, men look down on them with contempt. That is amplified by the man-hating witch hunt practiced by HR, which is always run by women in every business. Men, quite rightfully, do not believe women will treat them fairly in the workplace and avoid them at work.

In addition, most working women would rather work for male bosses, who treat them far better than female bosses. Men often dote on their female subordinates, treating them as daughters, favoring them and promoting them. Women, very often, see other women as rivals who must be thwarted and suppressed. If you don’t believe me, ask some working women in their thirties or older who have some experience of the working world.

It is comical that you claim that men suffer from implicit bias when you practice explicit bias against men in this man-hating screed. For Pete’s sake, wake up and confront your gender bigotry, Little Miss Man-Hater.

Perhaps the reason why most men think of women sexually is that women use their sex appeal to attract men. Women emphasize their décolletage, bare their bellies, wear short shorts, wear dresses with hip-high slits up the side, wear bikinis, et al. All of this they do to attract male attention to their youth and nubility.

If you took sex out of the picture, most women are dull and vain creatures who are obsessed with their hair, makeup, and clothes. They have not stocked their brains with anything of substance, only fluff. Men would not bother with them were it not for sex and the promise of children and family life.

People will never accept women’s claims of sexual assault at face value until women stop lying about it for frivolous reasons. From my own personal experience in the working world, it appears that one third of women’s claim of harassment in the workplace are legitimate, a third are ambiguous (a woman misinterpreted something), and a third are false.

An Air Force study paints it even worse, where only a fourth are legit, half are ambiguous, and a fourth are false. What that says is that three innocent men are hammered by HR for every guilty one. This anti-harassment policy against harassers has turned into a general witch hunt against men. When you make a common practice of hammering innocent men, the word gets around fast. It is the accepted wisdom of the corporate world that HR is the third rail for white men. Any contact with it will harm you. This happens because women in HR are given the power to express their man-hating.

The last thing we should do is indoctrinate our kids with loony lefty principles. Yes, kids don’t know how to act and frequently are mean to other kids they like. A girl who liked me in first grade socked me in the eye, sending me to the school nurse. Very often, a boy who is mean to a girl does indeed have a crush on her. He just doesn’t know how to express it properly.

Just about the stupidest thing you can do is to raise boys and girls the same way. What liberals really mean by that is to raise all your kids like girls. Do that and you’ll wind up with a boy who climbs to the top of a tower on campus and begins blazing away at everyone with a deer rifle, while shouting, “MY PARENTS REALLY SCREWED ME UP!”

Boys and girls are just different from birth. Give a boy anything and he’ll turn it into a gun, shooting stuff. Give a girl anything and she’ll turn it into a doll. Men and women are not equal. They are different and complementary. Each plays a different and important role.

Misogyny is a bad thing and I oppose it, like most men. However, misandry is also a bad thing which women should oppose, rather than embrace, as liberals demand. If you don’t know what misandry is, read the above editorial again, which is a flaming example of it.

Contrary to the loony lefty editorial above, women do not fear a horrible death while playing golf. Just ask any woman golfer. If they believed Death awaited them on the 18th hole, they would not play. Stoking the fears of women is a dishonest ploy by lefties to demonize men. Generally, for anything you read in the Daily, it’s in your best interests to think and do the opposite, unless, of course, you wish to live in liberal ignorance and fear.

Awww. Poor right-wing whack job is triggered. Womp womp!

Steve Gregg

You never really have anything intelligent to say, do you? And you still lack the courage to post under your own name. Do you ever feel shame for your cowardice?

Trigglypuff is triggered!

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.